Little Death

Days are getting shorter. The time change happened Halloween weekend and now the evenings are dark. I've been thinking a lot about last winter. The anniversary of my ankle is coming up. 

Number One: Skiing is off the list this year, possibly forever. 

Number Two: I wore heels successfully for many hours on Halloween. 

Number Three: I am running 5x/week, faster than ever. 

Number Four: My ankle is still visibly larger than its twin. The scar is dark brown and tight. It is sore and stiff in the mornings. 

Number Five: A student asked me if I could change one thing about myself, what would it be? And I said, I would change that I broke my ankle. 

My dad says it was a "little death." He said it's the price you pay for living. I think he is right but I still mourn for the loss of my perfect wholeness. Also for the fact that I didn't know that I was actually perfect and whole, that I always thought something was wrong with me, lacking, less-than. That I still sometimes feel that way, albeit much less often. 

I don't want to give up this blog, so perhaps it will morph into something less ankle-centered. But possibly still body-centered. The amount of time I spend on my body is a little excessive, but. But I do anyway.